Connecting with Carlos
It's been really weird for me having a dog. Like, I'm supposed to claim ownership over this animal and regulate its behavior and well-being.
I'd gotten used to my fish mostly taking care of themselves. Also, they never barked at me. Carlos is a whole other animal. Literally. (Couldn't help myself.) He has more needs than my sweet little energetic fish.
Take, for example, the need to chew up this sponge. They said in his listing that he was very cute and that he knew it, and boy does he ever:
I've found that the past month has taught me a lot about dogs - and about myself. I've been very stressed and I would certainly have been less stressed without the addition of this mischievous doggo. He will pee anywhere he pleases if he doesn't get his way. He tries to chew our shoes. He likes long walks in the middle of the night. The only item he is guaranteed to fetch are dryer balls (please don't tell my mother who gifted me those now-charred spiky orbs). Chicken is his go-to. He loves leg massages and goes crazy for armpit rubs for some unknown reason. (Upper legpit rubs??) He stole licks of a leftover cheesecake crust. He growls at me a lot, and he has bitten me a few times. A couple times on the face. I have a small scar from the last time. There have been a great many other incidents as well. So he is not the personal revolution I hoped he would be. I thought that I was ready for a dog; that I was ready for Carlos specifically. But maybe there's no such thing. We try new experiences without knowing what they will be like for us. It is always a toss of the die. And we must always remember it is important to invest in a die to toss, and that we toss it with some frequency.
So I struggle to love this dog because he feels like a lot of extra work. He has bonded to my boyfriend and regularly guards him. Overall Carlos has many cute moments but he is a lot of emotional energy for me to process on a daily level. Carlos and my boyfriend are the perfect pair and I really don't want to get in the way of that.
I keep trying.